Friday, August 14, 2009

I have a theory. . .

I think that babies must prefer chubby mommies. I don't know exactly why. Maybe it starts with wanting more padding while they're on the inside. Maybe it makes them feel more secure. Then once they're born, who wants to snuggle with someone bony? Cushy is probably preferable to those little ones.

Whatever the reason, they have a master strategy to meet their goal. It starts with the whole pregnancy weight-gain thing. Cravings, swelling, etc. . .

Once they're born they cause chronic sleep-deprivation. That slows Mom's metabolism and helps her keep on those pregnancy pounds.

Sitting down to enjoy a meal becomes a thing of the past. It's more a matter of grabbing what you can when you can and shoveling it in. It's hard to remember what or how much you ate like that - not exactly a healthy diet strategy.

Exercise? Are you kidding?! There is definitely some sort of sensor in babies that alerts them when Mom gets near the treadmill or the exercise DVD. It causes them to wake up and scream, or spit up, or overflow their diaper, or otherwise derail Mom's plans for calorie-burning.

So, hey, if you're hanging on to a few more pounds than you'd like since you've had your babies, don't feel bad. Wear them as a badge of honor. You're just doing what your babies want.

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