Saturday, February 3, 2007

Learning to be a Better Child

Being a mother is rewarding in a lot of ways. One of the many things I've gained from it is a better perspective on God's relationship to me as His child. I've been exposed to Christianity my whole life, so I was intellectually familiar with the fact that God loves me as a Father; that He disciplines me because of that love; that it breaks His heart when I turn away from Him. I also have wonderful human parents who did their best to love and provide for me. So I had witnessed good parenting up close. But you never really know what it's like to be a parent until you are a parent. It makes me want to be a better child of God.

It feels wonderful when I walk past my daughter and she smiles with her whole face in delight and reaches out for me to pick her up. It's amazing to cuddle with my son before he goes to bed and just listen to whatever is on his heart. In a similar way, it must thrill God when I desire to be with Him, to pour out my heart to Him, to delight in His presence. But sometimes I rob Him (and myself) of that by being distracted by less important things, or allowing myself to be satisfied with much less that His greatness.

I sometimes feel unappreciated as a mother. My son hasn't quite grasped contentment and gratitude yet. He has everything he needs, and quite a bit more, but he doesn't see it that way. He walks around the house saying, "I need Roley. I need Dizzy. I need Scrambler." I prepare him lunch and he complains because he wanted it on the purple plate, not the red plate. And it reminds me of how ungrateful I can be toward my Heavenly Father. He has given me all I need, and blessed me with so much that I don't really need. And yet I frequently complain about what I think I need more of (sleep, appreciation, ease, etc.) God is graciously patient with me, even as I am sometimes not with my own children.

I am so thankful to Him for giving me the blessing of motherhood. I pray it makes me a better child of His.

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