If you want something done right. . .

H seems to have finally given up hope of me producing a little sister for her. She's decided that since I have baby brother in my tummy, she has baby sister in hers. She'll stick out her belly and say, "Shh. Baby Sister is sleeping in there." I guess she's already figured out that if you want something done right, you should do it yourself.

She is still very sweet to baby brother, however. Yesterday she was giving my belly kisses and saying, "Hello in there, Baby Brother!" I think it will be hard to keep her hands off of him when he's finally born. She'll be a good little "Mommy's helper."

Special Day

At J's school, they don't celebrate birthdays in class. They've decided that since not everyone has a birthday during the school year, they'll assign each child a "special day" instead. Yes, I know it sounds a little corny, but when you're 5, it's pretty awesome. Today was J's much anticipated turn to have a special day.

I've been preparing for some time for this big event. One of the special day privileges is bringing a treat of the child's choice to share with the class that day. J gave this a lot of thought over the past month or so, but eventually decided he wanted bat brownies. I was a little skeptical that I could pull that off, but gave it an effort. I don't own a bat shaped cookie cutter, but turned to my Facebook friends and managed to come up with two. Sunday I planned to make a trial batch and see how it turned out. I realized that morning that I was out of eggs, so the kids and I made a run to the grocery store on the way to church. That afternoon, I baked the brownies in a large, flat pan trying to get them as thin and cookie like as possible so they could be cut out with cookie cutters. I ate a fair amount of batter before it went into the pan to try to help with that. Regardless, they came out too thick and "cakey" to work well being cut into shapes. I had to eat half the pan that day so as to not let them go to waste. (Chalk it up to baby weight.)

I explained the situation to J (who along with H ate most of the other half of the pan), and talked him into bat cookies instead. He was agreeable. That night I made a big batch of sugar cookie dough to roll out the next day. This is a recipe I've made dozens of times and never had a problem with in the past. Monday, however, when I went to roll it out, it felt like trying to roll out a stick of butter. It was very hard until it warmed up slightly, then it was very gooey. I persevered, and baked a pan of them anyway. It was a lot like baking butter. They came out in soupy globs. Not quite the bat shape I had been hoping to achieve. I figured I must not have put enough flour in, so I added some more. Unfortunately, I added all I had left in the house before it seemed the right consistency, and that left me none left for rolling them out. Back to the grocery store we went again.

That night after the kids were in bed, I managed to finally produce several dozen cookies that held their bat shape and tasted mighty fine. It went pretty smoothly from there as far as decorating them, and the final results were enough to excite any preschool class.

Another special day expectation is to share pictures with the class. They "suggest" that you mount these on poster board for ease of viewing. I, being the very compliant person that I am, went along with that suggestion. I, also being the somewhat forgetful person that I am, didn't think to buy poster board during any of my other recent trips to the store, so for the third time in as many days, I made a quick trip out to get some. It took me back to my school days, making a poster for a presentation. The staying up late the night before to finish it part was reminiscent of that as well.

On the morning of the big day, family or other special guests come to school with the special child. Mommy, Daddy, H, Grandma, and Papa all came for J's day. The special guests get to sit in chairs while the rest of the class sits on the floor. The special guests get to sit in chairs designed to be used by preschoolers. H was comfortable, but the rest of us were not sorry that it was a fairly short program!

They invite you to share special stories about your child, and I had planned to do that around the pictures we brought. I had pictures of when he was a baby. I planned to tell how excited we were about our first-born child, how we lived in a different state then, how old J was when we moved here, and how much he likes it because now we're close to his beloved Grandparents. I had pictures of him playing all the sports he likes, and was going to tell stories about swimming in Papa's pool, his awesome bowling skills, how one of his first words was "bakaball" (basketball), and how he loves riding his bike. I had pictures of J and H and was going to tell about the day they first met and what a good big brother he is (generally speaking). I had pictures of our recent family vacations, and was going to share the things he liked best on those trips. I also had some representative of his superhero obsession. (That is, by the way where the bat theme for the snacks came from - his favorite superhero, Batman).

I am the opposite of my husband when it comes to public speaking. He prefers to use few, if any notes and can wax eloquent for a 40 minute sermon referencing only the text he's preaching from. I prefer to write out what I'm going to say word for word, go over it enough times to have it nearly memorized, and keep my notes tightly clenched in my hand for reference throughout the talk. I'll be darned if I was going to show up to talk about my own son to a bunch of 3, 4, and 5 year olds unprepared, and so I had my type written presentation in hand when I arrived.

When it came time to show the pictures, however, Miss Jessica threw me for a loop by asking J to tell the class about what we'd brought. He proceeded to go through and talk about each one for 2 seconds or so, stealing all my thunder. Instead of hearing well planned stories designed to evoke tears and laughter, they got "This is me when I was a baby. This is another picture of me when I was a baby. This is me with H. This is me with H. This is me with H. This is me batting, bowling, swimming..." When he was done, Miss Jessica asked if we had any special stories we wanted to share about J when he's not at school. I crumpled my notes, and stammered something about him having just told about all the things I'd planned.

There are some other traditions that go along with the special day ceremony. Since it's a pseudo-birthday party, they recognize the child's age. The child gets to carry the globe of his choice around the candle/"sun" in the middle of the circle while all the children sing, "The earth goes round the sun, the earth goes round the sun, the earth goes slowly round the sun and (insert child's name here) was one," to the tune of "The Farmer in the Dell." They repeat this as many times as the child is years old, since the earth has gone around the sun that many times now since they were born. When it's done, J got to use the snuffer and put out the candle/sun - which the kids all think is totally cool. I found it a little amusing that Miss Laura made a point of asking J to stop once on each lap since he's 5 and might get dizzy after going around the circle that many times. Amusing to me, because I see this same kid tear around the house in circles for hours without ever becoming dizzy. Oh well, I suppose if there were ever going to be a first time, you wouldn't want it to be around a candle.

The grand finale of the special day ceremony is bringing presents to share with the class. Traditionally the gift is a book of some kind. We stuck with tradition, although Elle's parents recently set the bar pretty high by bringing a mini-fridge for the class on her special day. Not wanting to be totally cheap in comparison, we at least brought 2 books. J unwrapped the first one, and I explained why he'd chosen it. H had had enough of formality by this point. She jumped off Papa's lap and started yelling, "What did I get! I want a present too!" To avoid a bigger scene, we let her open the second book.

It was then time for us to go. J got to help Miss Jessica prepare the snack he'd brought for the other children. He got to wear a "special day" arm band to remind everyone that he was special that day. And he got to go first when it came time to choose which "work" he was going to do. He opted to go right to snack. That's my boy!

I will admit, I thought the whole thing was a little goofy when I first heard about it. But after watching my little boy have such a great time having his special day, I'm sure I enjoyed it just as much as he did. I had a happy little spring in my step all day and just wanted to keep on celebrating my wonderful kids.

Thank you, God, for making me a Mommy!

Toddler Humor

I've always thought my kids were funny (in a good way), but little H really outdid herself this morning in the "making mommy laugh" department.

Last week she wanted to take her little purse and some toys to the nursery at church. When I picked her up, she told me one of her friends was sad because she wouldn't share the toys she'd brought. We had a little talk and I told her if she wanted to bring her toys around the other children, she should share them.

This morning she wanted to take "Baby" with her to church. J reminded her that she would have to share if she did. I concurred and gave her a little "make sure you share with your friend" pep-talk.

H stared at me for a few seconds, then banged herself on the side of the head a couple times. "I can't hear what you're saying, Mama. I must have something stuck in my ears."

J and I both cracked up! I was so shocked at her ability to make such a joke at the age of 2, that I didn't even think to be offended that she was intentionally tuning me out!

About a Girl

Here's an update on our sweet little H:

One of her favorite games to play is football. She's quite good at throwing, catching, and kicking!

She loves to play outdoors, especially if she can dig in something.

She's opinionated about what she wears. She really enjoys picking out her outfits for the day and what jammies she's going to wear to bed. Most of the time she's pretty good at it, but some days she comes up with some interesting combinations!

She enjoys dressing up in girly things, especially on Sundays for church.

She loves to color, paint, and play with playdoh.

She loves to build with blocks, play with trains, cars, and Bob the Builder toys.

She enjoys telling jokes, especially knock-knock jokes. Our favorite is the one about juggling a banana. I've really got to get this on video some day!

She's very maternal, and loves to baby her dolls. I think she'll make a fine big sister and be a good helper to Mommy and Daddy!

She's still hoping for a baby sister.

She's very affectionate. She loves to snuggle. Any time Mommy or Daddy is leaving, she insists on a hug and a kiss and a handshake first.

She loves music and always has. She's a good singer and knows all the words to lots of songs. She loves to "dance", which basically means twirling around until she's so dizzy she falls down. She wants to do this every week at church, which is a bit of a problem since we always sit in the front row with Daddy.

One of her favorite songs is "Amazing Grace How Sweet." She sings along with the words on most verses, but for some reason prefers to meow on verse 2.

She loves being read to. She corrects us if we read something wrong.

She makes me feel very special when I pick her up from the nursery after church. She comes running to the door squealing, "Mommy, Mommy! That's my Mommy! Oh, Mommy, I missed you so much!" I feel like the most important person in the world right then.

About a Boy

Here's a random update on J for those who haven't seen us in a while:

He's doing very well in school. He's in a Montessori preschool program and is learning lots. He particularly impresses us with his reading ability.

He loved going to school at first, but the thrill has worn off. I suspect it may have something to do with the fact that Papa has been coming over more often lately. He'd much rather be with Papa than doing most anything else.

He is into all things superheroes lately. He loves to dress up as Batman, Flash, Superman, and Spiderman. He also loves to recruit the rest of the family to play along with him.

He enjoys writing stories. Generally they're about superheroes.

He'll make me think we're about to have a meaningful conversation by starting out, "Mommy, I have a very important question to ask you." But generally completes the thought with something like, "Did you know that Spiderman. . ?"

He says he's going to live with us until he's 45, he's going to marry his sister, and he never wants to drive. I'd like to record these things and play them back for him when he's 16.

He's very affectionate. Every morning when he gets up, he stumbles into the bathroom and gives me a hug. Every night before bed he wants "Mommy snuggles."

He has great leadership potential. He's very good at planning, organizing, and delegating responsibilities for games or projects. He sometimes spends so much time planning, organizing, and delegating that we never actually play the game - but he enjoys it just the same.

He's very sociable. He can strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere, anytime - and usually does - at the store, at school, at a restaurant, at church. He does not get that skill from his mother!

He enjoys drawing elaborate pictures. Again, usually of superheroes, their hideouts, their vehicles, their enemies and the like.

He thinks some of the funniest things in the world are underwear, burping, poop and related topics. Typical boy!

He likes to annoy me by singing the Barak Obama Irish song.

He's one of my 3 favorite people in the world!

Jones Jargon

I confess, I'm one of those parents that tends to think most everything her children do is cute. I find their jokes funny. I laugh at their antics. I find their mispronunciations endearing. For that reason, I've never been one to correct them when they say something wrong. They always figure it out eventually. Usually, sooner than I'd like. In the meantime, I enjoy their charming kid lingo. In fact, a lot of times, we adopt their jargon into our own conversations.

It made me a little sad when J finally stopped calling the fuzzy red monster "Melmo." Or stopped asking for milk and "risins" (raisins) when he first got up. He used to like playing "bakaball" (basketball). He asked for "woman cereal" for breakfast. (The Smart Start box had a picture of a woman running on it.) For snacks he liked red crackers (Ritz) or yellow crackers (Wheat Thins) or veg-e-ta-ble crackers (vegetable flavored Ritz - pronounced with 4 syllables).

He called Target "Treats to eat" for a long time. It was a line from one of his story books: "Sometimes we'll visit the mall down the street, we pick out new clothes and have treats to eat." That combined with the fact that we often got popcorn when we went there, and the label stuck.

Chocolate chips are "brown bugs" in our house. Back in the days when he was still naive to the existence of sweets in the world, I was baking cookies. He asked what those things were, and I said, "Oh, you don't want those. They're brown bugs. Ick" (Yes, my children will never be blogging about how shocked they were to discover as adults that their mother had once lied to them.) He soon discovered that he liked eating brown bugs, and we've called them that ever since.

The only one I notice that's still stuck in J's language is "prentzels." He hasn't figured out yet that there's no "n" in that word.

H doesn't have quite as many of these in her vocab - Probably because big brother takes it upon himself to correct her whenever she mispronounces something. He recently corrected her for asking for Papa cereal. "It's mini wheats, H," he insisted. I defended her, because I'm not quite ready to let that one go. It has been Papa cereal or Papa yo's (short for "cereyo" - the toddler version of "cereal") for years around our house. The rest of the world may know them as Frosted Mini Wheats, but since our Papa used to eat them 3 meals a day when he was driving truck, J labeled them "Papa Cereal," and the name stuck.

J tended to shorten the names of fruits and veggies. He asked for "tatos" (tomatoes) and "banas" (bananas). H, in contrast, liked to add extra syllables. She requested "tenamatoes" and "banamanas."

H used to like "mice" in her drink. I'm sure her little ears heard us ask, "Would you like suh mice?" instead of "some ice?"

One of my favorites was her referring to big bumblebees as "fuzzy buzzies." It might have been even cuter if she weren't terrified of them. She would usually call them that as she was running away in tears after having seen one. "Mommy! It's a fuzzy buzzy!" She called lady bugs "baby bugs" until recently. I still like to call them that. She's afraid of those too - She's her Mama's girl!

Someday, they'll be all grown and know the real names for things, but I suspect there will be certain names that will remain in the Jones family for years to come. I have "Papa cereal" for breakfast every morning, like to make "brown bug pancakes" on occasion, and enjoy eating at "Salmon's" instead of Damon's.

Uterine Steal Syndrome

I haven't been very inspired to blog lately. I suspect it's partly due to Facebook destroying my ability to describe life in anything more than one-sentence status updates. It's probably also in part due to the fact that J is growing up (sniff, sniff), and while he remains wildly entertaining, he doesn't say as many goofy things that lend themselves to funny blog posts anymore.

But I think the the bulk of the blame has to go to child #3.

There's a phenomenon in vascular surgery known as "steal syndrome." It occurs in some dialysis access grafts where too much arterial blood flow is diverted to the venous circulation, starving the tissues downstream from the graft. It's seen in some people with a blockage in a major artery to the arm, causing blood to be rerouted from the brain when they use their arm muscles.

Although I've never seen it described in the medical literature, I'm convinced that a similar phenomenon occurs in pregnant women. I'm currently experiencing it for the third time. My fellow female surgeons and I like to refer to it as "Uterine Steal Syndrome." It's a condition in which all the blood which normally flows to my brain, making me the witty, intelligent person I usually am (a-hem...) is being sucked up by an organ a few feet further south. Hopefully the end result is a healthy, witty, intelligent child. In the meantime, though, it's making for a scatter-brained mom.

I displayed this condition today. I was leaving work and had to drive 25 min or so to my Ob appointment. I really had to go to the bathroom, but decided to hold it since I knew they'd want a sample when I arrived. As soon as I checked in, I got my specimen cup and ran to the bathroom. The sensation of "Ahhh" quickly turned to "Oh, shoot" when I realized I was still holding the unopened cup in my hand. I had held it for a half hour so that I could give a specimen, only to forget what I had been suffering for as soon as it was time to perform.

When the nurse asked if I'd left a sample, I sheepishly told her, "No, I'll have to try again later." I didn't really feel like giving any further explanation right then.

Despite the fact that for the past month I've had to go about every 20 minutes around the clock, and despite the fact that I guzzled a whole bottle of water (after they weighed me, of course), I could not squeeze another drop while I was there.

So that's my excuse. In a few more months, I'll blame sleep deprivation and post-partum hormones. Today, I'm blaming Uterine Steal Syndrome.